Research has shown that people with Aspergers are impaired in humor appreciation, although anecdotal and parental reports provide some evidence to the contrary.
Flexible thinking is vital in comprehending jokes. Punch-lines in jokes are funny mostly because they are unexpected. In addition, big picture thinking is needed in understanding jokes, as it allows the listener to discern how the surprising punch line fits together with the joke body. As Aspies often demonstrate rigid thinking, a desire for the preservation of sameness, and difficulties with big picture thinking, it seems that they have trouble perceiving and producing “normal” humor.
Research suggests that Aspies produce and perceive humor in ways that are different from their same-age peers. They tended to prefer jokes with straightforward endings more than did peers in the control group, and their humor production was often less organized. However, research also suggests that boys with Aspergers both want to laugh – and to make others laugh. Thus, rather than calling this finding “impaired humor appreciation,” a better term might be “humor nonconformity.”
The ability to engage in social interaction is not one skill, but a set of skills that includes facility with language, interpreting nuances, reading facial expressions, regulating emotions, and understanding the possible motives and wishes of others. While Aspies typically have average to well above average verbal cognitive abilities, they often have difficulty using language in ways that connect them to others.
Research asserts the importance of humor in developing and maintaining relationships. It has been shown to reduce social uncertainty and anxiety, increase intimacy, and allow for the safe expression of delicate issues (e.g., sexual interest).
Since “normal” humor (i.e., humor that facilitates relationships) plays such a vital role in relationships, the possibility of humor-related “abnormalities” would help explain some of the social difficulties seen with Aspies.
The difficulty of an Aspie having an “abnormal” sense of humor is that he is less likely to draw others to himself through this “social tool.” This is especially true during adolescence, when peers ostracize those who are different. Difficulties understanding humor can create a feeling of isolation in Aspies when they are surrounded by laughing peers who got the joke. Also, they may become ideal targets for “emotional bullying’ (e.g., without understanding the sarcasm in a put-down, Aspies are not likely to fight back). With decreased ability to make others laugh, Aspie teens have less access to a powerful medium for facilitating relationships.
The awareness of these issues has implications for possible intervention. Parents can coach their Aspergers child on elements of humor. Humor skills can be explicitly taught with some success. By giving Aspies these skills, they are given a more equal chance with regard to social interaction.
The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook
31.12.10
30.12.10
Aspergers Men and Relationship Difficulties
Question
Through my own research, and now consultation with a Master's level psychologist, I am convinced, after almost 5 years of excruciating loneliness, isolation, depression, and heartache, that my husband has Asperger's. He is a very, very smart, attractive guy who can be the kindest person I know...but he can also be unbelievably stubborn (or so I thought) and verbally/emotionally abusive. He is completely detached from me and our young daughter, and after five years of marriage, we have had sex maybe 20 times, and have not had any sexual contact (even so much as a "real" kiss) in 18 months. While this is devastating to me, my husband seems totally unaffected by it, and now I guess I understand why... he has always said that it is my problem to deal with...I'm the one that wants it, not him. With no history of depression or anything like it, the isolation and constantly being blamed for everything wrong with the marriage, and having every little thing about me picked apart daily, I spiraled into a major depression that I am just finding my way out of.
Having discovered Asperger's, I have been able to let go (with God's help) of so much of the hurt and resentment that wouldn't leave because the heartbreaking events were almost daily. I really do see my husband in a different light, and it is helping me to cope for the time being. I was always baffled by his behavior because I truly believe he is a good man, but even in describing some scenarios that have played out in our home to my counselor; he can sound like an abusive monster. I love him with all my heart, and I want nothing more than to keep my family intact, and for our daughter to experience as healthy a childhood as we can possibly provide. My main problem lies in my husband's refusal to acknowledge that anything is going on.
He has extreme sensory issues (very very very limited diet, and has told me it makes his skin crawl when I kiss him softly, etc., etc., etc.), but he insists that it couldn't be Asperger's or any other thing that can be "labeled" (his word). I tried very calmly and lovingly explaining that if he was in fact living with Asperger's, that is certainly did not mean anything was "wrong" with him...that I felt from my reading that it simply is an explanation for some of his thought processes, etc., and that most people with Aspergers are extremely bright, productive individuals. I wanted him to see it as the positive thing that I did, but he completely shut me down and got very angry. I apologized for bringing it up, and told him that I loved him and meant no disrespect at all. I already feel like he is annoyed with me and with life in general about 95% of the time, so I just wanted to get back to a peaceful situation as quickly as possible.
If he will not acknowledge the situation, how can we get help? I am so willing to walk to this road with him, but I cannot continue to walk it alone...being blamed for everything...it takes all of my emotional energy just to get from day to day...I am constantly exhausted and drained...any thoughts?
Answer
Many partners assume that emotionally unavailable Aspies choose to reject intimacy because they have fallen out of love. This is not the case. Remaining emotionally-distant is rarely a choice; it's more like a case of “social-ignorance disease” (also called mindblindness) that often operates at a subconscious level.
As if being unable to healthily connect in a relationship weren’t bad enough, those who suffer from Aspergers usually want a connection the most, but don’t have the proper circuits operating in their brain to establish one.
If you’re married to an emotionally unavailable Aspie, you should always consider marriage counseling before you make the final decision of separating or getting a divorce. In counseling, when each person expresses his/her thoughts and feelings about the relationship in front of a therapist whose job it is to remain objective, new light is shed on the problems in the marriage. The Aspie may feel more inclined to present his side in a way that his partner can understand. Also, the person suffering in the relationship because of their partner’s emotional unavailability can openly discuss the pain it causes without the fear of being tuned out or dismissed.
Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples
Through my own research, and now consultation with a Master's level psychologist, I am convinced, after almost 5 years of excruciating loneliness, isolation, depression, and heartache, that my husband has Asperger's. He is a very, very smart, attractive guy who can be the kindest person I know...but he can also be unbelievably stubborn (or so I thought) and verbally/emotionally abusive. He is completely detached from me and our young daughter, and after five years of marriage, we have had sex maybe 20 times, and have not had any sexual contact (even so much as a "real" kiss) in 18 months. While this is devastating to me, my husband seems totally unaffected by it, and now I guess I understand why... he has always said that it is my problem to deal with...I'm the one that wants it, not him. With no history of depression or anything like it, the isolation and constantly being blamed for everything wrong with the marriage, and having every little thing about me picked apart daily, I spiraled into a major depression that I am just finding my way out of.
Having discovered Asperger's, I have been able to let go (with God's help) of so much of the hurt and resentment that wouldn't leave because the heartbreaking events were almost daily. I really do see my husband in a different light, and it is helping me to cope for the time being. I was always baffled by his behavior because I truly believe he is a good man, but even in describing some scenarios that have played out in our home to my counselor; he can sound like an abusive monster. I love him with all my heart, and I want nothing more than to keep my family intact, and for our daughter to experience as healthy a childhood as we can possibly provide. My main problem lies in my husband's refusal to acknowledge that anything is going on.
He has extreme sensory issues (very very very limited diet, and has told me it makes his skin crawl when I kiss him softly, etc., etc., etc.), but he insists that it couldn't be Asperger's or any other thing that can be "labeled" (his word). I tried very calmly and lovingly explaining that if he was in fact living with Asperger's, that is certainly did not mean anything was "wrong" with him...that I felt from my reading that it simply is an explanation for some of his thought processes, etc., and that most people with Aspergers are extremely bright, productive individuals. I wanted him to see it as the positive thing that I did, but he completely shut me down and got very angry. I apologized for bringing it up, and told him that I loved him and meant no disrespect at all. I already feel like he is annoyed with me and with life in general about 95% of the time, so I just wanted to get back to a peaceful situation as quickly as possible.
If he will not acknowledge the situation, how can we get help? I am so willing to walk to this road with him, but I cannot continue to walk it alone...being blamed for everything...it takes all of my emotional energy just to get from day to day...I am constantly exhausted and drained...any thoughts?
Answer
Many partners assume that emotionally unavailable Aspies choose to reject intimacy because they have fallen out of love. This is not the case. Remaining emotionally-distant is rarely a choice; it's more like a case of “social-ignorance disease” (also called mindblindness) that often operates at a subconscious level.
As if being unable to healthily connect in a relationship weren’t bad enough, those who suffer from Aspergers usually want a connection the most, but don’t have the proper circuits operating in their brain to establish one.
If you’re married to an emotionally unavailable Aspie, you should always consider marriage counseling before you make the final decision of separating or getting a divorce. In counseling, when each person expresses his/her thoughts and feelings about the relationship in front of a therapist whose job it is to remain objective, new light is shed on the problems in the marriage. The Aspie may feel more inclined to present his side in a way that his partner can understand. Also, the person suffering in the relationship because of their partner’s emotional unavailability can openly discuss the pain it causes without the fear of being tuned out or dismissed.
Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples
29.12.10
50 Positive Characteristics of Aspergers
Most people with Aspergers have a lot of positive characteristics that more than make-up for any negative ones. One Aspie states, “Thank God I have Aspergers!” Let’s look at just a few of the positives associated with having Aspergers...
Most Aspies:
1. are able to easily forgive others
2. are conscientious, reliable, and honest
3. are enthusiastic and have a propensity for obsessive research, thus developing a broad and deep base of knowledge in subjects of interest
4. are free of prejudice
5. are intelligent and talented
6. are less inclined to be fickle or bitchy than their neurotypical counterparts
7. are more likely than those of the general population to pursue a university education
8. are not inclined to lie to others
9. are not inclined to steal from others
10. are not likely to be bullies, con artists, or social manipulators
11. are not motivated by an intense social drive to spend time with whoever happens to be available
12. are persistent, and when they set their minds to something or make a promise, they can usually be trusted to follow through
13. are unlikely to launch unprovoked attacks, verbal or otherwise
14. are untainted by the judgments that people often make regarding one another's social position or social skills
15. are very accepting of the quirks and idiosyncrasies of others
16. bring a highly original perspective to problem solving
17. can be selective, choosing honest, genuine, dependable people who share their interests
18. can bring up a variety of interesting facts (though some of these facts will only be interesting to the Aspies themselves)
19. can listen to people’s problems and provide a fresh perspective, offering pure assessments based on the information provided
20. can recall fine details that others miss
21. can relax and be themselves without fearing social censure
22. don’t attack the reputations of those around them
23. don’t discriminate against anyone based on race, gender, age, or any other surface criteria
24. don’t force others to live up to demanding social expectations
25. don’t have hidden agendas
26. don’t play head games
27. don’t take advantage of other’s weaknesses
28. don't usually recognize hierarchies, and so are unlikely to give someone superior status simply because that person is wealthy or has attained a high position in an organization
29. have a good work ethic
30. have a lot of passion when engaging in activities they like, which may translate into a talent for certain athletic pursuits, despite an inclination to be clumsy
31. have a tendency to adhere unvaryingly to routines
32. have above-average intelligence
33. have an acute sensitivity that supports creative talents
34. have exceptional memories
35. have extreme endurance
36. have high integrity
37. have no interest in harming others
38. have one or more highly developed talents
39. have talents for swimming, rowing, running, bodybuilding, or other activities that require sustained physical effort
40. have values that aren't shaped by financial, social, or political influences
41. judge people based on their behavior – not the color of their skin or socioeconomic status
42. like to spend time alone and are perfectly capable of entertaining themselves
43. loathe small talk and trivialities, preferring instead to talk about significant things that will enhance their knowledge base
44. make very good employees if able to control their pace and work within either a solitary or socially supportive environment
45. pay attention to detail
46. stick to their positions, even in the face of intense social pressure
47. tend to become proficient in the technological media required for lucrative employment in the “information age”
48. tend to prefer individual sports to team sports, as there are no social demands and they can exercise complete control over the activity
49. who develop an interest in sport or fitness are likely to work at it every day, often for long periods of time
50. will not go along with the crowd if they know that something is wrong
The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook
Most Aspies:
1. are able to easily forgive others
2. are conscientious, reliable, and honest
3. are enthusiastic and have a propensity for obsessive research, thus developing a broad and deep base of knowledge in subjects of interest
4. are free of prejudice
5. are intelligent and talented
6. are less inclined to be fickle or bitchy than their neurotypical counterparts
7. are more likely than those of the general population to pursue a university education
8. are not inclined to lie to others
9. are not inclined to steal from others
10. are not likely to be bullies, con artists, or social manipulators
11. are not motivated by an intense social drive to spend time with whoever happens to be available
12. are persistent, and when they set their minds to something or make a promise, they can usually be trusted to follow through
13. are unlikely to launch unprovoked attacks, verbal or otherwise
14. are untainted by the judgments that people often make regarding one another's social position or social skills
15. are very accepting of the quirks and idiosyncrasies of others
16. bring a highly original perspective to problem solving
17. can be selective, choosing honest, genuine, dependable people who share their interests
18. can bring up a variety of interesting facts (though some of these facts will only be interesting to the Aspies themselves)
19. can listen to people’s problems and provide a fresh perspective, offering pure assessments based on the information provided
20. can recall fine details that others miss
21. can relax and be themselves without fearing social censure
22. don’t attack the reputations of those around them
23. don’t discriminate against anyone based on race, gender, age, or any other surface criteria
24. don’t force others to live up to demanding social expectations
25. don’t have hidden agendas
26. don’t play head games
27. don’t take advantage of other’s weaknesses
28. don't usually recognize hierarchies, and so are unlikely to give someone superior status simply because that person is wealthy or has attained a high position in an organization
29. have a good work ethic
30. have a lot of passion when engaging in activities they like, which may translate into a talent for certain athletic pursuits, despite an inclination to be clumsy
31. have a tendency to adhere unvaryingly to routines
32. have above-average intelligence
33. have an acute sensitivity that supports creative talents
34. have exceptional memories
35. have extreme endurance
36. have high integrity
37. have no interest in harming others
38. have one or more highly developed talents
39. have talents for swimming, rowing, running, bodybuilding, or other activities that require sustained physical effort
40. have values that aren't shaped by financial, social, or political influences
41. judge people based on their behavior – not the color of their skin or socioeconomic status
42. like to spend time alone and are perfectly capable of entertaining themselves
43. loathe small talk and trivialities, preferring instead to talk about significant things that will enhance their knowledge base
44. make very good employees if able to control their pace and work within either a solitary or socially supportive environment
45. pay attention to detail
46. stick to their positions, even in the face of intense social pressure
47. tend to become proficient in the technological media required for lucrative employment in the “information age”
48. tend to prefer individual sports to team sports, as there are no social demands and they can exercise complete control over the activity
49. who develop an interest in sport or fitness are likely to work at it every day, often for long periods of time
50. will not go along with the crowd if they know that something is wrong
The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook
28.12.10
Amusement Park Precautions for Aspergers and SID Children
Dear Mark,
I can't tell you how much I appreciate your newsletter! It really encourages me and gives much-needed guidance. Our daughter is six years old and has sensory integration dysfunction. While she has never been diagnosed with Asperger's, she has many of the symptoms, so I find your articles extremely helpful. We have had to pull her out of the public schools and are homeschooling her for 1st grade. She is doing much better. Her OT says that she is like a different child this year.
Anyway, here is my question. My husband and I have been planning a trip to Disney World for our daughter for her 7th birthday. She has been begging to go for the last few years, but we have put it off not knowing if she could handle it. She is doing better with loud noises, crowds, etc....but I'm not sure she can handle the sensory overload of DW. She has an incredible imagination and loves fairies, princesses, etc.....I know she wants to do it, but I'm not sure she is ready. And then again, if it's an "on" day while we're there, she might be fine. It's an awful lot of money to spend if we get there and she can't do it......ugghhhh. I'd appreciate your thoughts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Should you attempt the trip? Yes.
Here are some tips that apply to Aspergers children, although the same would apply to children with Sensory Integration Dysfunction (SID):
1. A gift of a journal or sketchbook is helpful and can provide a good outlet for frustrations and other emotions, as well as a way to make a permanent record of the trip. The records of the trip that your daughter makes may well become a treasure in years to come.
2. Bring a few of your daughter’s favorite items from home (e.g., a particular spoon, plate, clock, etc.). Familiarity, texture and feel are important to children with Aspergers. For example, a fork with sharp edges or an unfamiliar feeling handle may bother her.
3. Bring her pillow and favorite blanket from home. This will help your daughter adjust to changes in sleeping arrangements. She may insist on favorite toys as well. She should be allowed to bring books or other reading material, or anything else she is used to having at bedtime that is portable and light.
4. Bring whatever instruments, song books, stories, or games you have traditionally used to help her unwind.
5. Explain everything you possibly can in advance, with details. Being prepared fully helps your daughter relax and enjoy the trip more, which means you will, too.
6. Give her a bag or small backpack to pack full of things to do on the trip. These items should be ones she chooses herself.
7. In the car, allow your daughter to bring an iPod or MP3 player with her favorite music on it. Listening to familiar music is soothing and will have a calming effect on her.
8. Keep it simple. Don't plan 25 things to do in one day. Add in extra adjustment time for each change of location.
9. To the extent possible, keep the same schedule and meals that your daughter is used to at home. Save the Chinese restaurant for later, and remember to bring her favorite cereal, sandwich fixings, and snacks.
10. Allow for frequent ‘time-outs’ (about 10 minutes in length) during the day’s events. For example, find a fairly quite area with a picnic table and have a snack or read to her.
11. She may want to wear earplugs or listen to soothing music on her iPod during the day’s events to screen out unfamiliar sounds.
12. Sunglasses are also helpful in that they screen out some of the unnecessary visual stimuli.
In addition, consider your daughter’s specific symptoms and make allowances accordingly. Here is a summary of SID symptoms:
• Symptoms of Auditory Dysfunction:
Hypersensitive-- Covers ears and startled by loud sounds, distracted by sounds not noticed by others, fearful of toilets flushing, hairdryers and/or vacuums, resists going to loud public places (even cafeteria at school).
Hyposensitive-- May not respond to verbal cues, loves loud music and making noise, may appear confused about where a sound is coming from, may say "what?" frequently.
• Symptoms of Olfactory Dysfunction:
Hypersensitive-- Bothered or nauseated by cooking, bathroom and/or perfume smells, may refuse to go places because of the way it smells, chooses foods based on smell, notices smells not normally noticed by others.
Hyposensitive-- May not notice unpleasant or noxious odors, smells everything when first introduced to it, may not be able to identify smells from scratch 'n sniff stickers.
• Symptoms of Oral Dysfunction:
Hypersensitive-- Picky eater with extreme food preferences and limited repertoire, may gag on textured food, difficulty with sucking, chewing, and swallowing, extremely fearful of the dentist, dislikes toothpaste and brushing teeth.
Hyposensitive-- May lick, taste or chew on inedible objects, loves intensely flavored foods, may drool excessively, frequently chews on pens, pencils, or shirt.
• Symptoms of Proprioceptive Dysfunction:
Under-responsive-- Constantly jumping, crashing, and stomping, loves to be squished and bear hugs, prefers tight clothing, loves rough-housing, and may be aggressive with other kids.
Over-responsive-- Difficulty understanding where body is in relation to other objects, appears clumsy, bumps into things often, moves in a stiff and/or uncoordinated way.
Difficulty Regulating Input-- Doesn't know how hard to push on an object, misjudges the weight of an object, breaks objects often and rips paper when erasing pencil marks.
• Symptoms of Tactile Dysfunction:
Hypersensitive-- Refuses or resists messy play, resists cuddling and light touch, dislikes kisses, rough clothes or seams in socks, resists baths, showers, or going to the beach.
Hyposensitive-- Doesn't realize hands or face are dirty, touches everything and anything constantly, may be self-abusive, plays rough with peers, doesn't seem to feel pain (may even enjoy it!)
• Symptoms of Vestibular Dysfunction:
Hypersensitive-- Avoids playground and moving equipment, fearful of heights, dislikes being tipped upside down, often afraid of falling, walking on uneven surfaces, and avoids rapid, sudden or rotating movements.
Hyposensitive-- Craves any possible movement experience, especially fast or spinning, never seems to sit still, is a thrill seeker, and shakes leg while sitting, loves being tossed in the air, never seems to get dizzy, full of excessive energy.
• Symptoms of Visual Dysfunction:
Hypersensitive-- Irritated by sunlight or bright lights, easily distracted by visual stimuli, avoids eye contact, may become over aroused in brightly colored rooms.
Hyposensitive-- Difficulty controlling eye movements and tracking objects, mixes up similar letters, focuses on little details in a picture and misses the whole, loses his place frequently when reading or copying from the blackboard.
My Aspergers Child: Preventing Meltdowns
I can't tell you how much I appreciate your newsletter! It really encourages me and gives much-needed guidance. Our daughter is six years old and has sensory integration dysfunction. While she has never been diagnosed with Asperger's, she has many of the symptoms, so I find your articles extremely helpful. We have had to pull her out of the public schools and are homeschooling her for 1st grade. She is doing much better. Her OT says that she is like a different child this year.
Anyway, here is my question. My husband and I have been planning a trip to Disney World for our daughter for her 7th birthday. She has been begging to go for the last few years, but we have put it off not knowing if she could handle it. She is doing better with loud noises, crowds, etc....but I'm not sure she can handle the sensory overload of DW. She has an incredible imagination and loves fairies, princesses, etc.....I know she wants to do it, but I'm not sure she is ready. And then again, if it's an "on" day while we're there, she might be fine. It's an awful lot of money to spend if we get there and she can't do it......ugghhhh. I'd appreciate your thoughts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Should you attempt the trip? Yes.
Here are some tips that apply to Aspergers children, although the same would apply to children with Sensory Integration Dysfunction (SID):
1. A gift of a journal or sketchbook is helpful and can provide a good outlet for frustrations and other emotions, as well as a way to make a permanent record of the trip. The records of the trip that your daughter makes may well become a treasure in years to come.
2. Bring a few of your daughter’s favorite items from home (e.g., a particular spoon, plate, clock, etc.). Familiarity, texture and feel are important to children with Aspergers. For example, a fork with sharp edges or an unfamiliar feeling handle may bother her.
3. Bring her pillow and favorite blanket from home. This will help your daughter adjust to changes in sleeping arrangements. She may insist on favorite toys as well. She should be allowed to bring books or other reading material, or anything else she is used to having at bedtime that is portable and light.
4. Bring whatever instruments, song books, stories, or games you have traditionally used to help her unwind.
5. Explain everything you possibly can in advance, with details. Being prepared fully helps your daughter relax and enjoy the trip more, which means you will, too.
6. Give her a bag or small backpack to pack full of things to do on the trip. These items should be ones she chooses herself.
7. In the car, allow your daughter to bring an iPod or MP3 player with her favorite music on it. Listening to familiar music is soothing and will have a calming effect on her.
8. Keep it simple. Don't plan 25 things to do in one day. Add in extra adjustment time for each change of location.
9. To the extent possible, keep the same schedule and meals that your daughter is used to at home. Save the Chinese restaurant for later, and remember to bring her favorite cereal, sandwich fixings, and snacks.
10. Allow for frequent ‘time-outs’ (about 10 minutes in length) during the day’s events. For example, find a fairly quite area with a picnic table and have a snack or read to her.
11. She may want to wear earplugs or listen to soothing music on her iPod during the day’s events to screen out unfamiliar sounds.
12. Sunglasses are also helpful in that they screen out some of the unnecessary visual stimuli.
In addition, consider your daughter’s specific symptoms and make allowances accordingly. Here is a summary of SID symptoms:
• Symptoms of Auditory Dysfunction:
Hypersensitive-- Covers ears and startled by loud sounds, distracted by sounds not noticed by others, fearful of toilets flushing, hairdryers and/or vacuums, resists going to loud public places (even cafeteria at school).
Hyposensitive-- May not respond to verbal cues, loves loud music and making noise, may appear confused about where a sound is coming from, may say "what?" frequently.
• Symptoms of Olfactory Dysfunction:
Hypersensitive-- Bothered or nauseated by cooking, bathroom and/or perfume smells, may refuse to go places because of the way it smells, chooses foods based on smell, notices smells not normally noticed by others.
Hyposensitive-- May not notice unpleasant or noxious odors, smells everything when first introduced to it, may not be able to identify smells from scratch 'n sniff stickers.
• Symptoms of Oral Dysfunction:
Hypersensitive-- Picky eater with extreme food preferences and limited repertoire, may gag on textured food, difficulty with sucking, chewing, and swallowing, extremely fearful of the dentist, dislikes toothpaste and brushing teeth.
Hyposensitive-- May lick, taste or chew on inedible objects, loves intensely flavored foods, may drool excessively, frequently chews on pens, pencils, or shirt.
• Symptoms of Proprioceptive Dysfunction:
Under-responsive-- Constantly jumping, crashing, and stomping, loves to be squished and bear hugs, prefers tight clothing, loves rough-housing, and may be aggressive with other kids.
Over-responsive-- Difficulty understanding where body is in relation to other objects, appears clumsy, bumps into things often, moves in a stiff and/or uncoordinated way.
Difficulty Regulating Input-- Doesn't know how hard to push on an object, misjudges the weight of an object, breaks objects often and rips paper when erasing pencil marks.
• Symptoms of Tactile Dysfunction:
Hypersensitive-- Refuses or resists messy play, resists cuddling and light touch, dislikes kisses, rough clothes or seams in socks, resists baths, showers, or going to the beach.
Hyposensitive-- Doesn't realize hands or face are dirty, touches everything and anything constantly, may be self-abusive, plays rough with peers, doesn't seem to feel pain (may even enjoy it!)
• Symptoms of Vestibular Dysfunction:
Hypersensitive-- Avoids playground and moving equipment, fearful of heights, dislikes being tipped upside down, often afraid of falling, walking on uneven surfaces, and avoids rapid, sudden or rotating movements.
Hyposensitive-- Craves any possible movement experience, especially fast or spinning, never seems to sit still, is a thrill seeker, and shakes leg while sitting, loves being tossed in the air, never seems to get dizzy, full of excessive energy.
• Symptoms of Visual Dysfunction:
Hypersensitive-- Irritated by sunlight or bright lights, easily distracted by visual stimuli, avoids eye contact, may become over aroused in brightly colored rooms.
Hyposensitive-- Difficulty controlling eye movements and tracking objects, mixes up similar letters, focuses on little details in a picture and misses the whole, loses his place frequently when reading or copying from the blackboard.
My Aspergers Child: Preventing Meltdowns
27.12.10
Aspergers Children Who Abuse Their Siblings
Question
How can I help my youngest child age 4 cope with my 12 year old Asperger child’s sneaky aggressive behavior toward him? My four year old loves his older brother but is constantly being manipulated and abused. He does this very sneaky and tries not to get caught.
A typical example: My Asperger child will appear to cuddle with my child on the couch while he's secretly smashing the air out of him until the 4 year old screams. It's hard to watch my loving four year getting hurt every time I turn my back.
Answer
Research reveals that 53 out of every 100 kids abuse a sibling (higher than the percentage of grown-ups who abuse their kids or their spouse). What some children do to their sibling inside the family would be called assault outside the family.
Here are some important facts related to sibling aggression. Researcher suggests that:
As moms and dads, we may be tempted to ignore fighting and quarrelling between kids. We may view these activities as a normal part of growing up. We say, "Boys will be boys" or "They'll grow out of it." However, thousands of adult survivors of sibling abuse tell of the far-reaching negative effects that such unchecked behavior has had on them as kids and grown-ups.
Sibling abuse, as all forms of human abuse, may be sexual, physical, or emotional:
Kids often abuse a sibling, usually younger than themselves, to gain power and control. One explanation for this is that the abusive youngster feels powerless, neglected and insecure. He/she may feel strong only in relation to a brother/sister being powerless. The feeling of power kids experience when they mistreat a brother/sister often reinforces their decision to repeat the abuse.
How can you identify normal “sibling rivalry” versus “sibling abuse”? Here are some useful guidelines:
If you suspect abuse, it's important to act quickly to stop it. An effective parental response involves the following steps:
My Aspergers Child: Preventing Meltdowns in Aspergers Children
How can I help my youngest child age 4 cope with my 12 year old Asperger child’s sneaky aggressive behavior toward him? My four year old loves his older brother but is constantly being manipulated and abused. He does this very sneaky and tries not to get caught.
A typical example: My Asperger child will appear to cuddle with my child on the couch while he's secretly smashing the air out of him until the 4 year old screams. It's hard to watch my loving four year getting hurt every time I turn my back.
Answer
Research reveals that 53 out of every 100 kids abuse a sibling (higher than the percentage of grown-ups who abuse their kids or their spouse). What some children do to their sibling inside the family would be called assault outside the family.
Here are some important facts related to sibling aggression. Researcher suggests that:
- A younger sibling who is very aggressive increases an older sibling's level of aggression.
- An older sibling who is very aggressive increases a younger sibling's chances of being aggressive too.
- If mothers/fathers show hostility in their family interactions, their kid’s level of aggression increases.
- Parental hostility related to economic pressures has an impact on kid’s aggression.
- Just having a sibling influences a youngster's level of aggression.
- Aggression runs in families.
- Although parental hostility is a risk factor for childhood aggression, marital conflict between mothers/fathers is not.
- Other family risk factors that increase the likelihood of childhood aggression are economic pressures, single parenting, violence in the home, and maternal depression.
- Boys are more physically aggressive in sibling relationships than girls, but girls can be just as aggressive in non-verbal ways.
- Sister-to-sister relationships have less fighting than brother-to-brother or brother-to-sister combinations.
- Having a nurturing older sister protects younger kids from becoming aggressive and even protects them from developing substance abuse issues, but having an overly aggressive older brother has the opposite effect.
- Kids tend to show more aggression toward siblings at younger ages, and then outgrow it.
- Kids learn how to be aggressive by watching their older brothers/sisters.
As moms and dads, we may be tempted to ignore fighting and quarrelling between kids. We may view these activities as a normal part of growing up. We say, "Boys will be boys" or "They'll grow out of it." However, thousands of adult survivors of sibling abuse tell of the far-reaching negative effects that such unchecked behavior has had on them as kids and grown-ups.
Sibling abuse, as all forms of human abuse, may be sexual, physical, or emotional:
- Sexual abuse includes unwanted touching, indecent exposure, intercourse, rape or sodomy between brother/sister.
- Physical abuse ranges from hitting, biting, and slapping to more life-threatening acts such as choking or shooting with a BB gun.
- Emotional abuse is present in all forms of sibling abuse. It may include teasing, name calling, belittling, ridiculing, intimidating, annoying, and provoking.
Kids often abuse a sibling, usually younger than themselves, to gain power and control. One explanation for this is that the abusive youngster feels powerless, neglected and insecure. He/she may feel strong only in relation to a brother/sister being powerless. The feeling of power kids experience when they mistreat a brother/sister often reinforces their decision to repeat the abuse.
How can you identify normal “sibling rivalry” versus “sibling abuse”? Here are some useful guidelines:
- How does the abused sibling respond? Victims often respond to abuse from a sibling by protecting themselves, screaming and crying, separating themselves from the abuser, abusing a younger sibling in turn, telling their moms and dads, internalizing the abusive message, fighting back, or submitting.
- How often does it happen and how long does it go on? Acceptable behavior that is long and drawn out may become abusive over time.
- Identify the behavior. Isolate it from the emotions associated with it and evaluate it.
- Is the behavior age-appropriate? Remember that generally you should confront fighting and jealousy even if you tend to think it is "normal."
- Is there a victim in the situation? A victim may not want to participate, but may be unable to stop the activity.
- What is the purpose of the behavior? If it tears down another person, it is abusive.
If you suspect abuse, it's important to act quickly to stop it. An effective parental response involves the following steps:
- As a parent, you play a critical role in teaching kids how to mediate disputes without aggression. By setting rules and expectations for how your kids interact with each other, they are more likely to find ways to resolve their differences without aggression throughout their lives.
- Be a good role-model of positive and esteem-building behavior.
- Bring all kids involved into a problem-solving process.
- Figure out alternative solutions to the problem.
- Get enough fact and feeling information to assess the problem accurately.
- Help kids to arrive at a child-set goal (goals set by moms and dads often become rules that kids will not follow).
- How you handle aggression between siblings is critical. A common complaint among kids is, "He started it!" If you continually punish one youngster, and do not properly address issues with another youngster who could be instigating aggressive situations, you will likely breed resentment between siblings that could result in even more aggression. Assuming the older youngster is the aggressor could mean that you are missing a younger child's aggressive impulses and letting them go unchecked.
- Minimize the violence your children see on T.V. and in the movies.
- Reward sensitive, positive behavior among siblings.
- Specify appropriate ways of acting and consequences should abusive behavior occur in the future.
- State and restate the problem to make sure you understand it clearly.
- The most important role you play with your youngster is that of a model for behavior. Your kids are more likely to do as you do, not as you say. If they see that you handle stressful situations by becoming aggressive or belligerent, they will learn this behavior. It is important to be aware of the behaviors you are teaching your youngster. Do you drive aggressively while screaming angry insults at other drivers? Are you rude or aggressively demanding toward others, such as restaurant or other service workers? Your kids learn through these interactions.
- Work together to set up a contract which states the rights and responsibilities of each youngster.
My Aspergers Child: Preventing Meltdowns in Aspergers Children
26.12.10
Drugs to Treat Aspergers Symptoms
Question
Our 8-year old son was recently diagnosed with Asperger's/ADHD. The psychologist said the next step is to meet with our family doctor to prescribe meds to help him be more successful in 3rd grade. While he is doing well academically, it takes him a couple of hours to complete 30 min. of homework every night, and he is having behavior problems in school. Are medications our only option to help him with behavior? He attends a private school which does not have a counselor, but the teacher and principal have been really working with us to help him function in class. This is very overwhelming for us-problems at school and our home life so stressful. Our parenting techniques we used on our first two sons definitely don't work with our Asperger son who is very defiant and rude. Yikes--where do we start?
Answer
There is no one specific medication for Aspergers. In some cases, specific target symptoms are treated with medication though (e.g., a stimulant for inattention and hyperactivity; an SSRI such as Paxil, Prozac or Zoloft for obsessions or perseveration and associated depression and anxiety; low dose antipsychotic such as risperidone for stereotyped movements, agitation and idiosyncratic thinking).
SSRI medications are selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors that are effective in treating many cases of anxiety and depression. The medicine may improve a few of the problematic symptoms of Aspergers including:
• Aggression
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Hyperactivity
• Impulsiveness
• Repetitive movements
• Self-injurious behaviors
• Self-stimulatory behaviors
Antipsychotic medications are also considered. Thought processes that are typical of Aspergers can be the source of great stress. Among the most stressful is transitioning and dealing with changes. Some behaviors result from thought processes that are obsessive in nature. The Aspie is unable to tolerate changes in routine and may become fixated on order. Antipsychotics alleviate the anxiety associated with obsessive thinking patterns and compulsive behavior. Other symptoms antipsychotic medications may address include:
• Idiosyncratic thought processes
• Irritability
• Repetitive movements
• Self-stimulatory behaviors
Common medications include:
• Abilify (This drug may be effective for treating irritability related to Aspergers. Side effects may include weight gain and an increase in blood sugar levels.)
• Celexa
• Intuniv (This medication may be helpful for the problems of hyperactivity and inattention in children with Aspergers. Side effects may include drowsiness, irritability, headache, constipation and bedwetting.)
• Lexapro
• Paxil
• Prozac
• Revia ( This medication, which is sometimes used to help alcoholics stop drinking, may help reduce some of the repetitive behaviors associated with Aspergers.)
• Risperdal (This medication may be prescribed for agitation and irritability. It may cause trouble sleeping, a runny nose and an increased appetite. This drug has also been associated with an increase in cholesterol and blood sugar levels.)
• Zoloft
• Zyprexa (Olanzapine is sometimes prescribed to reduce repetitive behaviors. Possible side effects include increased appetite, drowsiness, weight gain, and increased blood sugar and cholesterol levels.)
Other examples of alternative therapies that have been used for Aspergers include:
• Avoidance diets— Some parents have turned to gluten-free or casein-free diets to treat Aspergers. There's no clear evidence that these diets work, and anyone attempting such a diet for their child needs guidance from a registered dietitian to ensure the child's nutritional requirements are met.
• Melatonin— Sleep problems are common in kids with Aspergers, and melatonin supplements may help regulate your child's sleep-wake cycle. The recommended dose is 3 mg, 30 minutes before bedtime. Possible side effects include excessive sleepiness, dizziness and headache.
• Other dietary supplements— Numerous dietary supplements have been tried in Aspies. Those that may have some evidence to support their use include Vitamin B-6 and magnesium, Vitamin C, Carnosine, and Omega-3 fatty acids.
• Secretin— This gastrointestinal hormone has been tried as a potential treatment. Numerous studies have been conducted on secretin, and none found any evidence that it helps.
Other therapies that have been tried, but lack objective evidence to support their use include:
• antibiotics
• antifungal drugs
• chiropractic manipulations
• hyperbaric oxygen therapy
• immune therapies
• massage and craniosacral massage
• transcranial magnetic stimulation
The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook
Our 8-year old son was recently diagnosed with Asperger's/ADHD. The psychologist said the next step is to meet with our family doctor to prescribe meds to help him be more successful in 3rd grade. While he is doing well academically, it takes him a couple of hours to complete 30 min. of homework every night, and he is having behavior problems in school. Are medications our only option to help him with behavior? He attends a private school which does not have a counselor, but the teacher and principal have been really working with us to help him function in class. This is very overwhelming for us-problems at school and our home life so stressful. Our parenting techniques we used on our first two sons definitely don't work with our Asperger son who is very defiant and rude. Yikes--where do we start?
Answer
There is no one specific medication for Aspergers. In some cases, specific target symptoms are treated with medication though (e.g., a stimulant for inattention and hyperactivity; an SSRI such as Paxil, Prozac or Zoloft for obsessions or perseveration and associated depression and anxiety; low dose antipsychotic such as risperidone for stereotyped movements, agitation and idiosyncratic thinking).
SSRI medications are selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors that are effective in treating many cases of anxiety and depression. The medicine may improve a few of the problematic symptoms of Aspergers including:
• Aggression
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Hyperactivity
• Impulsiveness
• Repetitive movements
• Self-injurious behaviors
• Self-stimulatory behaviors
Antipsychotic medications are also considered. Thought processes that are typical of Aspergers can be the source of great stress. Among the most stressful is transitioning and dealing with changes. Some behaviors result from thought processes that are obsessive in nature. The Aspie is unable to tolerate changes in routine and may become fixated on order. Antipsychotics alleviate the anxiety associated with obsessive thinking patterns and compulsive behavior. Other symptoms antipsychotic medications may address include:
• Idiosyncratic thought processes
• Irritability
• Repetitive movements
• Self-stimulatory behaviors
Common medications include:
• Abilify (This drug may be effective for treating irritability related to Aspergers. Side effects may include weight gain and an increase in blood sugar levels.)
• Celexa
• Intuniv (This medication may be helpful for the problems of hyperactivity and inattention in children with Aspergers. Side effects may include drowsiness, irritability, headache, constipation and bedwetting.)
• Lexapro
• Paxil
• Prozac
• Revia ( This medication, which is sometimes used to help alcoholics stop drinking, may help reduce some of the repetitive behaviors associated with Aspergers.)
• Risperdal (This medication may be prescribed for agitation and irritability. It may cause trouble sleeping, a runny nose and an increased appetite. This drug has also been associated with an increase in cholesterol and blood sugar levels.)
• Zoloft
• Zyprexa (Olanzapine is sometimes prescribed to reduce repetitive behaviors. Possible side effects include increased appetite, drowsiness, weight gain, and increased blood sugar and cholesterol levels.)
Other examples of alternative therapies that have been used for Aspergers include:
• Avoidance diets— Some parents have turned to gluten-free or casein-free diets to treat Aspergers. There's no clear evidence that these diets work, and anyone attempting such a diet for their child needs guidance from a registered dietitian to ensure the child's nutritional requirements are met.
• Melatonin— Sleep problems are common in kids with Aspergers, and melatonin supplements may help regulate your child's sleep-wake cycle. The recommended dose is 3 mg, 30 minutes before bedtime. Possible side effects include excessive sleepiness, dizziness and headache.
• Other dietary supplements— Numerous dietary supplements have been tried in Aspies. Those that may have some evidence to support their use include Vitamin B-6 and magnesium, Vitamin C, Carnosine, and Omega-3 fatty acids.
• Secretin— This gastrointestinal hormone has been tried as a potential treatment. Numerous studies have been conducted on secretin, and none found any evidence that it helps.
Other therapies that have been tried, but lack objective evidence to support their use include:
• antibiotics
• antifungal drugs
• chiropractic manipulations
• hyperbaric oxygen therapy
• immune therapies
• massage and craniosacral massage
• transcranial magnetic stimulation
The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook
24.12.10
How To Survive Christmas With An Aspergers Child: 20 Tips For Parents
Anticipation for the Aspergers youngster is often a negative emotion that leads to overload resulting in a meltdown. Rather than having a time of “peace” and “joy”, the Aspergers youngster runs the risk of behaving like a demon-possessed maniac, creating havoc amongst his siblings, upsetting Aunt Jane, and giving you an “attitude” when you try to diplomatically reprimand him.
So, how do you manage to foster some Christmas spirit amongst your family while keeping your Aspergers youngster calm and behaving appropriately?
Here are some tips:
1. Be prepared for your Aspie to hand back that present he considers “crap”.
2. Be prepared to watch that DVD you got them over and over again.
3. Consider his dietary needs. Often at this time of year, diets go out the window. But letting your kids fill up on junk is just another disruption in the routine they value so highly. Know their limitations. A few cookies won't hurt anyone, but your youngster won't be in a better temper having skipped the cereal he likes to have EVERY morning in favor of Grandma's famous oven-baked egg casserole, which he hates.
4. Cut back your gift list. Have you ever had to prod your Aspergers youngster to move on to the next gift? Aspergers kids move at their own pace, and it's often a slow one. Some may be overwhelmed by too many things to open. Get them what THEY (not you) will like best, and let them be content with it. Learn to be okay with your kid carrying his Nintendo DS into a corner to try out his new game while others open their gifts.
5. Don’t be shocked if your Aspie asks everyone who gives him a gift how much it cost.
6. Don’t invite anyone over to your house that you’ve gossiped about in the past. All kids have a mind like a sponge, but your Aspie has a mind like a steal trap! Your youngster telling that uncle or mother-in-law, “Mom thinks you’re a drunk” is not conducive to a joyful occasion.
7. Don’t make big plans for Christmas at a hotel, Holiday Park, or at Aunt Mary’s. This may be safe for some families, but your Aspergers youngster will be most comfortable at home where he can escape the mayhem of Christmas day to retreat to his sanctuary of solitude – his bedroom!
8. Don’t place any gifts under the tree until Christmas Eve (out of sight, out of mind). No visual reminders that Christmas is approaching minimizes the waiting time for your Aspergers youngster. And we all know that being patient and the having the ability to wait are not usually strengths in Aspergers kids!
9. Expect an element of ignorance from family members and friends who do not understand Aspergers behavior. If you’re having people over, try to choose those who know, understand, and like your Aspergers youngster.
10. Let him wear himself out. If your Aspie has a poor sleep pattern at night, you will be grateful when he does sleep!
11. Lower your expectations. The brilliant gains your Aspergers youngster has gained this year may well be lost in the holiday chaos. But remember it is HIS holiday as well as yours, and it may not resemble your own cherished childhood memories. That's okay. A few deep breaths will go a long way. Nourish your own flexibility, and don't expect too much flexibility from your youngster.
12. Make sure all kids have the SAME number of gifts. If they have a present that was more expensive, be sure to make up the numbers with little things. There’s nothing worse than a Christmas morning meltdown.
13. Make sure you have plenty of new batteries on hand. When you tell a youngster with Aspergers you forgot to buy the batteries, you can expect a meltdown.
14. Make sure your day is well planned out. Just like any other day, your youngster will want order and routine to their day. He will want to know what time dinner is and who’s visiting and when.
15. Prepare ahead of time. Schedules will be off. Mealtimes will be different. Special events get in the way of the treasured routines that help make Aspergers kids feel safe and secure. Where possible, preserve the routine. When that's not possible, sit down with your youngster ahead of time and explain what will be different. Use a picture schedule or a written list if this works for him. Post a calendar. And give plenty of advance notice if plans change.
16. Remove the word “Christmas” from your vocabulary. Simply put up the tree and decorations, cook the pudding and mince pies, send cards to friends and family, and just go shopping. Also, have a meeting with the rest of the family and ask their assistance in this area too.
17. Scale back the parties. For Aspies, social get-togethers can be minefields. Remembering social graces, how to look and act "normal," striving to fit in-all these are stressful to an Aspergers youngster. And if you're wincing, waiting for Uncle Waldo to frown at something your youngster says, your kid will feel this too. As much as possible, confine gatherings to arenas where the youngster feels comfortable and accepted.
18. Stay out of the stores. The Aspergers youngster craves routine and predictability. The Christmas crowd at Walmart offers neither. Many Aspergers kids are sensitive to the sensory overload of loud music, arguing customers, even Christmas light displays. Leave them at home if you possibly can.
19. Visit Santa with caution! If you haven’t done so yet, be prepared if your Aspie is a non-believer. Anything could happen! He may call the man with the white beard a FAKE, laugh at his fat belly, or ask him if he has a real job.
20. When your Aspergers youngster is present, cut back on conversation about the BIG day. I know that our inner-child tends to get excited about Christmas too, but we often unthinkingly contribute to the overwhelming anticipation by relating our plans and expectations for the Christmas season to our kids as we go about our preparations.
Hope this helps!
Merry Christmas to all…
My Aspergers Child: Preventing Meltdowns
So, how do you manage to foster some Christmas spirit amongst your family while keeping your Aspergers youngster calm and behaving appropriately?
Here are some tips:
1. Be prepared for your Aspie to hand back that present he considers “crap”.
2. Be prepared to watch that DVD you got them over and over again.
3. Consider his dietary needs. Often at this time of year, diets go out the window. But letting your kids fill up on junk is just another disruption in the routine they value so highly. Know their limitations. A few cookies won't hurt anyone, but your youngster won't be in a better temper having skipped the cereal he likes to have EVERY morning in favor of Grandma's famous oven-baked egg casserole, which he hates.
4. Cut back your gift list. Have you ever had to prod your Aspergers youngster to move on to the next gift? Aspergers kids move at their own pace, and it's often a slow one. Some may be overwhelmed by too many things to open. Get them what THEY (not you) will like best, and let them be content with it. Learn to be okay with your kid carrying his Nintendo DS into a corner to try out his new game while others open their gifts.
5. Don’t be shocked if your Aspie asks everyone who gives him a gift how much it cost.
6. Don’t invite anyone over to your house that you’ve gossiped about in the past. All kids have a mind like a sponge, but your Aspie has a mind like a steal trap! Your youngster telling that uncle or mother-in-law, “Mom thinks you’re a drunk” is not conducive to a joyful occasion.
7. Don’t make big plans for Christmas at a hotel, Holiday Park, or at Aunt Mary’s. This may be safe for some families, but your Aspergers youngster will be most comfortable at home where he can escape the mayhem of Christmas day to retreat to his sanctuary of solitude – his bedroom!
8. Don’t place any gifts under the tree until Christmas Eve (out of sight, out of mind). No visual reminders that Christmas is approaching minimizes the waiting time for your Aspergers youngster. And we all know that being patient and the having the ability to wait are not usually strengths in Aspergers kids!
9. Expect an element of ignorance from family members and friends who do not understand Aspergers behavior. If you’re having people over, try to choose those who know, understand, and like your Aspergers youngster.
10. Let him wear himself out. If your Aspie has a poor sleep pattern at night, you will be grateful when he does sleep!
11. Lower your expectations. The brilliant gains your Aspergers youngster has gained this year may well be lost in the holiday chaos. But remember it is HIS holiday as well as yours, and it may not resemble your own cherished childhood memories. That's okay. A few deep breaths will go a long way. Nourish your own flexibility, and don't expect too much flexibility from your youngster.
12. Make sure all kids have the SAME number of gifts. If they have a present that was more expensive, be sure to make up the numbers with little things. There’s nothing worse than a Christmas morning meltdown.
13. Make sure you have plenty of new batteries on hand. When you tell a youngster with Aspergers you forgot to buy the batteries, you can expect a meltdown.
14. Make sure your day is well planned out. Just like any other day, your youngster will want order and routine to their day. He will want to know what time dinner is and who’s visiting and when.
15. Prepare ahead of time. Schedules will be off. Mealtimes will be different. Special events get in the way of the treasured routines that help make Aspergers kids feel safe and secure. Where possible, preserve the routine. When that's not possible, sit down with your youngster ahead of time and explain what will be different. Use a picture schedule or a written list if this works for him. Post a calendar. And give plenty of advance notice if plans change.
16. Remove the word “Christmas” from your vocabulary. Simply put up the tree and decorations, cook the pudding and mince pies, send cards to friends and family, and just go shopping. Also, have a meeting with the rest of the family and ask their assistance in this area too.
17. Scale back the parties. For Aspies, social get-togethers can be minefields. Remembering social graces, how to look and act "normal," striving to fit in-all these are stressful to an Aspergers youngster. And if you're wincing, waiting for Uncle Waldo to frown at something your youngster says, your kid will feel this too. As much as possible, confine gatherings to arenas where the youngster feels comfortable and accepted.
18. Stay out of the stores. The Aspergers youngster craves routine and predictability. The Christmas crowd at Walmart offers neither. Many Aspergers kids are sensitive to the sensory overload of loud music, arguing customers, even Christmas light displays. Leave them at home if you possibly can.
19. Visit Santa with caution! If you haven’t done so yet, be prepared if your Aspie is a non-believer. Anything could happen! He may call the man with the white beard a FAKE, laugh at his fat belly, or ask him if he has a real job.
20. When your Aspergers youngster is present, cut back on conversation about the BIG day. I know that our inner-child tends to get excited about Christmas too, but we often unthinkingly contribute to the overwhelming anticipation by relating our plans and expectations for the Christmas season to our kids as we go about our preparations.
Hope this helps!
Merry Christmas to all…
My Aspergers Child: Preventing Meltdowns
23.12.10
Aspergers: Quick Reference for Clinicians
Aspergers is a form of pervasive developmental disorder characterized by persistent impairment in social interactions, repetitive behavior patterns, and restricted interests. Unlike autistic disorder, no significant aberrations or delays occur in language development or cognitive development. Aspergers is generally evident in kids older than 3 years and occurs more often in boys.
Kids with this disorder often exhibit a limited capacity for spontaneous social interactions, a failure to develop friendships, and a limited number of intense and highly focused interests. Although some individuals with Aspergers may have certain communication problems, including poor nonverbal communication and pedantic speech, many have good cognitive and verbal skills. Although individuals with Aspergers have fewer memories, the experiences of remembering are qualitatively similar in people with Aspergers compared with healthy control subjects. Physical symptoms may include early childhood motor delays, clumsiness, fine motor difficulty, gait anomalies, and odd movements.
People with Aspergers have normal or even superior intelligence and may make great intellectual contributions while demonstrating social insensitivity or even apparent indifference toward loved ones. Published case reports of people with Aspergers suggest an association with the capacity to accomplish cutting-edge research in computer science, mathematics, and physics. Although the deficits manifested by those with Aspergers are often debilitating, many people experience positive outcomes, especially those who excel in areas not dependent on social interaction.
People with Aspergers have exhibited outstanding skills in mathematics, music, and computer sciences. Many are highly creative, and many prominent individuals demonstrate traits suggesting Aspergers.
Although normal language and cognitive development differentiate Aspergers from other developmental disorders, the severe social impairment associated with this condition overlaps with disorders such as high-functioning autism (HFA).
Key features of the deficit manifested in individuals with Aspergers pertain to their inability to understand the thoughts of other people and themselves. A typical youngster can recognize the thoughts of other children and himself and hypothesize how other people are likely to respond to life occurrences. The lack of this comprehension in an individual with Aspergers is termed a deficiency in the formation of a theory of the mind.
Frequency—
• Likely, many individuals with Aspergers are undiagnosed in North America. Many individuals with Aspergers are probably members of the general population without awareness of their diagnosis. Family and friends probably accommodate the signs of Aspergers as idiosyncrasies of the individual.
• Because of the divergent diagnostic criteria used in the United States and Canada, estimates of Aspergers frequency widely vary. Various studies indicate rates ranging from 1 case in 250-10,000 kids. Additional epidemiologic studies are needed, using widely accepted criteria and a screening instrument that targets these criteria.
Mortality/Morbidity—
People with Aspergers appear to have normal life spans; however, they seem to endure an increased prevalence of comorbid psychiatric maladies (e.g., depression, mood disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, Tourette disorder).
Race—
Aspergers has no racial tendency.
Sex—
The estimated male-to-female ratio is approximately 4:1.
Age—
Aspergers is commonly diagnosed in the early school years and less frequently during early childhood or even adulthood.
Clinical—
Developmental history:
• Include a thorough evaluation of social behaviors, language, interests, routines, physical coordination, and sensory sensitivity, starting from birth.
• Interview mothers/fathers about prenatal history and maternal health factors that may have affected the pregnancy.
Social problems:
• An affected youngster may not display affection to mothers/fathers or other family members. A lack of bonding and warmth with mothers/fathers and other guardians may seem apparent, typically resulting from the youngster's lack of social skills.
• Kids with Aspergers may have difficulties with peer relations and may be rejected by other kids. Depression and loneliness may occur in adolescents with Aspergers.
• People with Aspergers may have particular difficulty in dating and marriage. Boys and men with Aspergers may decide to marry suddenly without the dating and courtship that typically precede a union. They may also be unaware that friendship often precedes courtship and engagement. People with Aspergers may want to marry despite the lack of awareness of the many social interactions that usually lead up to matrimony.
• Outside the realm of immediate family members, the affected youngster may exhibit inappropriate attempts to initiate social interaction and to make friends. Within the immediate family, the youngster is often loving and affectionate.
• Individuals with Aspergers are vulnerable to depression, even suicide, after a perceived rejection in a social situation such as dating and marriage. Clinicians must be aware of the risk of depression and institute prompt interventions when major depression occurs.
• Individuals with Aspergers may benefit from counseling and social skills training. Attwood (1998) provides exercises for mothers/fathers to use to foster social skills in their kids. These activities can be modified for the needs of adults with Aspergers. Psychotherapy is often helpful for people to recognize their deficits in social skills.
• Separations from mothers/fathers because of work and divorce may be particularly stressful for these kids. Changing homes, communities, and neighborhoods may also exacerbate symptoms.
• Socially inappropriate behavior and failure to understand social cues may be reported.
• The youngster may not understand why individuals become upset when he or she breaks social rules.
Communication abnormalities:
• Body language or nonverbal communication may be awkward and inappropriate.
• Facial expressions may be absent or inappropriate.
• Pragmatic errors are commonly produced by kids with Aspergers in response to questions. Kids with Aspergers often produce irrelevant responses.
• Use of gestures is frequently limited.
Speech and hearing:
• Affected kids demonstrate several abnormalities in speech and language, including pedantic speech and oddities in pitch, intonation, prosody, and rhythm.
• Kids often exhibit auditory discrimination and distortion, particularly when the youngster encounters 2 or more individuals speaking simultaneously.
• People with Aspergers may vocalize their thoughts without censoring. Personal remarks inappropriate to most social environments may be uttered routinely.
• People with Aspergers often exhibit practical speech problems, including an inability to use language in social contexts, a lack of sensitivity about interrupting others, and irrelevant commentary.
• Miscomprehension of language nuance (e.g., literal interpretations of figures of speech) is common.
• Some people with Aspergers may display selective mutism, speaking not at all to most individuals and excessively to specific individuals. Some may choose to talk only to individuals they like. Thus, speech may reflect idiosyncratic interests and preferences of the individual.
• Speech may be unusually formal or used in idiosyncratic ways that others do not understand.
• The amount of speech may also widely vary and reflect the individual's current emotional state more than the communication requirements of the social setting. Some people may be verbose and others taciturn. Furthermore, the same individual may demonstrate excesses and paucity of speech intermittently.
• The form of language chosen may include metaphors that are meaningful only to the speaker. The message meant by the speaker may not be understood by those who hear it, or the message may be meaningful only to a few individuals who understand the private language of the speaker.
Activities:
Kids exhibit peculiar and narrow interests, excluding other activities. These interests may be so important that the kids do not develop typical relationships with their family, school, and community.
Sensory sensitivity:
• Kids may be particularly sensitive to the texture of foods.
• Kids may exhibit synesthesia, including a sensory response to an environmental stimulus in a different sensory modality.
• Kids may show sensitivity to sound, touch, taste, sight, smell, pain, and temperature. For example, a youngster may demonstrate either extreme or diminished sensitivity to pain.
Physical findings:
• Affected kids may exhibit anomalies of locomotion, balance, manual dexterity, handwriting, rapid movements, rhythm, and imitation of movements.
• Clumsiness is common.
• Children exhibit impaired ball-playing skills.
• Lax joints are often observed (e.g., an immature or unusual grasp for handwriting and other fine hand movements).
Prognosis—
• Children with Aspergers may be taught specific social guidelines, but the underlying social impairment is believed to be lifelong.
• People with Aspergers tend to have a better prognosis when they have supportive families who are knowledgeable about Aspergers.
• Comorbid psychiatric disorders, when present, significantly affect the client's prognosis.
Social Behaviors in School Settings—
• Auditory integration training helps some kids with social interactions.
• Because changes in schools, classrooms, and teachers may exacerbate symptoms, attempt to minimize alterations to the client's schedule and educational environment.
• Kids can learn to watch other kids for social cues and for behaviors to imitate.
• Kids may benefit from a full-time, trained, 1-on-1 teacher aide to shadow them in the classroom and to coach appropriate behavior.
• Kids, adolescents, and adults with Aspergers typically benefit from a weekly, therapist-guided, social skills group with peers.
• Teachers can explain appropriate means of seeking help when the youngster demonstrates problematic social behaviors in the classroom. Videotapes may facilitate self-monitoring of adherence to classroom rules.
• Teachers can model socially appropriate behavior and encourage cooperative games in the classroom.
• Teachers have many opportunities to help kids develop appropriate social behaviors.
• Teachers may help kids in challenging social situations by supervising breaks between classes and lunchroom and playground activities.
• Teachers may identify suitable friends for kids and encourage prospective friendships.
Interaction with Other Kids—
• Kids may benefit from an organized club, chaperoned by adult leaders who provide advance preparation and a discussion forum.
• Mothers/fathers can help kids learn appropriate play by modeling and rehearsing such skills as flexibility, cooperation, and sharing.
• Mothers/fathers should encourage an affected youngster to invite a friend to their home.
Communication and Language Strategies—
• Because interpretation of metaphors and figures of speech is often difficult, caregivers should explain these language subtleties when they arise.
• Caregivers, through modeling, can teach affected kids how to interpret the conversational cues of others to reply, to interrupt, or to change topics.
• Kids can be taught to memorize phrases for specific purposes (e.g., to open conversations).
• Kids can be taught to refrain from vocalizing every thought.
• Kids can learn to seek clarification by asking individuals to rephrase confusing expressions. Encourage kids to ask that confusing instructions be repeated, simplified, clarified, and written down.
• Encourage kids, when appropriate, to admit that they do not know an answer.
• Role-playing may help a youngster learn to understand the perspectives and thoughts of other individuals. Encourage the youngster to stop and think how another person will feel before the youngster acts and speaks.
• Some kids with Aspergers may have good visual thinking abilities; they may be encouraged to visualize using diagrams and visual analogues.
• When communicating a series of instructions to a youngster with this disorder, pause between each separate statement.
Career Counseling and Orientation—
• People may need special help to prepare for job interviews and to maintain an appropriate demeanor in a work environment.
• Career choices using technology, especially the Internet, are often particularly suitable for individuals with Aspergers. Computer science, engineering, and natural sciences are common career choices for people with this disorder. Other special interests may be developed into careers.
• Career choice is crucial for persons with Aspergers because social impairment limits their success in many occupations.
The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook
Kids with this disorder often exhibit a limited capacity for spontaneous social interactions, a failure to develop friendships, and a limited number of intense and highly focused interests. Although some individuals with Aspergers may have certain communication problems, including poor nonverbal communication and pedantic speech, many have good cognitive and verbal skills. Although individuals with Aspergers have fewer memories, the experiences of remembering are qualitatively similar in people with Aspergers compared with healthy control subjects. Physical symptoms may include early childhood motor delays, clumsiness, fine motor difficulty, gait anomalies, and odd movements.
People with Aspergers have normal or even superior intelligence and may make great intellectual contributions while demonstrating social insensitivity or even apparent indifference toward loved ones. Published case reports of people with Aspergers suggest an association with the capacity to accomplish cutting-edge research in computer science, mathematics, and physics. Although the deficits manifested by those with Aspergers are often debilitating, many people experience positive outcomes, especially those who excel in areas not dependent on social interaction.
People with Aspergers have exhibited outstanding skills in mathematics, music, and computer sciences. Many are highly creative, and many prominent individuals demonstrate traits suggesting Aspergers.
Although normal language and cognitive development differentiate Aspergers from other developmental disorders, the severe social impairment associated with this condition overlaps with disorders such as high-functioning autism (HFA).
Key features of the deficit manifested in individuals with Aspergers pertain to their inability to understand the thoughts of other people and themselves. A typical youngster can recognize the thoughts of other children and himself and hypothesize how other people are likely to respond to life occurrences. The lack of this comprehension in an individual with Aspergers is termed a deficiency in the formation of a theory of the mind.
Frequency—
• Likely, many individuals with Aspergers are undiagnosed in North America. Many individuals with Aspergers are probably members of the general population without awareness of their diagnosis. Family and friends probably accommodate the signs of Aspergers as idiosyncrasies of the individual.
• Because of the divergent diagnostic criteria used in the United States and Canada, estimates of Aspergers frequency widely vary. Various studies indicate rates ranging from 1 case in 250-10,000 kids. Additional epidemiologic studies are needed, using widely accepted criteria and a screening instrument that targets these criteria.
Mortality/Morbidity—
People with Aspergers appear to have normal life spans; however, they seem to endure an increased prevalence of comorbid psychiatric maladies (e.g., depression, mood disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, Tourette disorder).
Race—
Aspergers has no racial tendency.
Sex—
The estimated male-to-female ratio is approximately 4:1.
Age—
Aspergers is commonly diagnosed in the early school years and less frequently during early childhood or even adulthood.
Clinical—
Developmental history:
• Include a thorough evaluation of social behaviors, language, interests, routines, physical coordination, and sensory sensitivity, starting from birth.
• Interview mothers/fathers about prenatal history and maternal health factors that may have affected the pregnancy.
Social problems:
• An affected youngster may not display affection to mothers/fathers or other family members. A lack of bonding and warmth with mothers/fathers and other guardians may seem apparent, typically resulting from the youngster's lack of social skills.
• Kids with Aspergers may have difficulties with peer relations and may be rejected by other kids. Depression and loneliness may occur in adolescents with Aspergers.
• People with Aspergers may have particular difficulty in dating and marriage. Boys and men with Aspergers may decide to marry suddenly without the dating and courtship that typically precede a union. They may also be unaware that friendship often precedes courtship and engagement. People with Aspergers may want to marry despite the lack of awareness of the many social interactions that usually lead up to matrimony.
• Outside the realm of immediate family members, the affected youngster may exhibit inappropriate attempts to initiate social interaction and to make friends. Within the immediate family, the youngster is often loving and affectionate.
• Individuals with Aspergers are vulnerable to depression, even suicide, after a perceived rejection in a social situation such as dating and marriage. Clinicians must be aware of the risk of depression and institute prompt interventions when major depression occurs.
• Individuals with Aspergers may benefit from counseling and social skills training. Attwood (1998) provides exercises for mothers/fathers to use to foster social skills in their kids. These activities can be modified for the needs of adults with Aspergers. Psychotherapy is often helpful for people to recognize their deficits in social skills.
• Separations from mothers/fathers because of work and divorce may be particularly stressful for these kids. Changing homes, communities, and neighborhoods may also exacerbate symptoms.
• Socially inappropriate behavior and failure to understand social cues may be reported.
• The youngster may not understand why individuals become upset when he or she breaks social rules.
Communication abnormalities:
• Body language or nonverbal communication may be awkward and inappropriate.
• Facial expressions may be absent or inappropriate.
• Pragmatic errors are commonly produced by kids with Aspergers in response to questions. Kids with Aspergers often produce irrelevant responses.
• Use of gestures is frequently limited.
Speech and hearing:
• Affected kids demonstrate several abnormalities in speech and language, including pedantic speech and oddities in pitch, intonation, prosody, and rhythm.
• Kids often exhibit auditory discrimination and distortion, particularly when the youngster encounters 2 or more individuals speaking simultaneously.
• People with Aspergers may vocalize their thoughts without censoring. Personal remarks inappropriate to most social environments may be uttered routinely.
• People with Aspergers often exhibit practical speech problems, including an inability to use language in social contexts, a lack of sensitivity about interrupting others, and irrelevant commentary.
• Miscomprehension of language nuance (e.g., literal interpretations of figures of speech) is common.
• Some people with Aspergers may display selective mutism, speaking not at all to most individuals and excessively to specific individuals. Some may choose to talk only to individuals they like. Thus, speech may reflect idiosyncratic interests and preferences of the individual.
• Speech may be unusually formal or used in idiosyncratic ways that others do not understand.
• The amount of speech may also widely vary and reflect the individual's current emotional state more than the communication requirements of the social setting. Some people may be verbose and others taciturn. Furthermore, the same individual may demonstrate excesses and paucity of speech intermittently.
• The form of language chosen may include metaphors that are meaningful only to the speaker. The message meant by the speaker may not be understood by those who hear it, or the message may be meaningful only to a few individuals who understand the private language of the speaker.
Activities:
Kids exhibit peculiar and narrow interests, excluding other activities. These interests may be so important that the kids do not develop typical relationships with their family, school, and community.
Sensory sensitivity:
• Kids may be particularly sensitive to the texture of foods.
• Kids may exhibit synesthesia, including a sensory response to an environmental stimulus in a different sensory modality.
• Kids may show sensitivity to sound, touch, taste, sight, smell, pain, and temperature. For example, a youngster may demonstrate either extreme or diminished sensitivity to pain.
Physical findings:
• Affected kids may exhibit anomalies of locomotion, balance, manual dexterity, handwriting, rapid movements, rhythm, and imitation of movements.
• Clumsiness is common.
• Children exhibit impaired ball-playing skills.
• Lax joints are often observed (e.g., an immature or unusual grasp for handwriting and other fine hand movements).
Prognosis—
• Children with Aspergers may be taught specific social guidelines, but the underlying social impairment is believed to be lifelong.
• People with Aspergers tend to have a better prognosis when they have supportive families who are knowledgeable about Aspergers.
• Comorbid psychiatric disorders, when present, significantly affect the client's prognosis.
Social Behaviors in School Settings—
• Auditory integration training helps some kids with social interactions.
• Because changes in schools, classrooms, and teachers may exacerbate symptoms, attempt to minimize alterations to the client's schedule and educational environment.
• Kids can learn to watch other kids for social cues and for behaviors to imitate.
• Kids may benefit from a full-time, trained, 1-on-1 teacher aide to shadow them in the classroom and to coach appropriate behavior.
• Kids, adolescents, and adults with Aspergers typically benefit from a weekly, therapist-guided, social skills group with peers.
• Teachers can explain appropriate means of seeking help when the youngster demonstrates problematic social behaviors in the classroom. Videotapes may facilitate self-monitoring of adherence to classroom rules.
• Teachers can model socially appropriate behavior and encourage cooperative games in the classroom.
• Teachers have many opportunities to help kids develop appropriate social behaviors.
• Teachers may help kids in challenging social situations by supervising breaks between classes and lunchroom and playground activities.
• Teachers may identify suitable friends for kids and encourage prospective friendships.
Interaction with Other Kids—
• Kids may benefit from an organized club, chaperoned by adult leaders who provide advance preparation and a discussion forum.
• Mothers/fathers can help kids learn appropriate play by modeling and rehearsing such skills as flexibility, cooperation, and sharing.
• Mothers/fathers should encourage an affected youngster to invite a friend to their home.
Communication and Language Strategies—
• Because interpretation of metaphors and figures of speech is often difficult, caregivers should explain these language subtleties when they arise.
• Caregivers, through modeling, can teach affected kids how to interpret the conversational cues of others to reply, to interrupt, or to change topics.
• Kids can be taught to memorize phrases for specific purposes (e.g., to open conversations).
• Kids can be taught to refrain from vocalizing every thought.
• Kids can learn to seek clarification by asking individuals to rephrase confusing expressions. Encourage kids to ask that confusing instructions be repeated, simplified, clarified, and written down.
• Encourage kids, when appropriate, to admit that they do not know an answer.
• Role-playing may help a youngster learn to understand the perspectives and thoughts of other individuals. Encourage the youngster to stop and think how another person will feel before the youngster acts and speaks.
• Some kids with Aspergers may have good visual thinking abilities; they may be encouraged to visualize using diagrams and visual analogues.
• When communicating a series of instructions to a youngster with this disorder, pause between each separate statement.
Career Counseling and Orientation—
• People may need special help to prepare for job interviews and to maintain an appropriate demeanor in a work environment.
• Career choices using technology, especially the Internet, are often particularly suitable for individuals with Aspergers. Computer science, engineering, and natural sciences are common career choices for people with this disorder. Other special interests may be developed into careers.
• Career choice is crucial for persons with Aspergers because social impairment limits their success in many occupations.
The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook
Articles in Alphabetical Order: 2007 - 2009
2007—
- Adult Diagnosis
- Aspergers and Comorbid Conditions
- Aspergers and Comorbid Conditions
- Aspergers and diet/natural supplements.
- Aspergers and Medication
- Aspergers and Stress
- Aspergers syndrome and High Functioning Autism
- Autism Spectrum Disorders (Pervasive Developmental...
- Books to share with your AS child.
- Building Social Relationships
- Can Aspergers be inherited?
- Can people with Aspergers develop normal relations...
- Changes in Adolescence
- Coping with Obsessions and Rituals
- Dealing with anger management (older kids).
- Dealing with obsessions and compulsive behaviors.
- Dealing with sensory problems.
- Developing active listening skills for effective i...
- Developing Daily Living Skills
- Developing Social Communication Skills
- Famous people with Aspergers and their achievement...
- Gender Differences
- Helping your child's teacher to understand your ch...
- Home tuition/Schooling for your Aspergers child.
- How can people with Aspergers cope with anger and ...
- How to become your child's greatest advocate.
- How to deal with bullying.
- How to help your Aspergers child deal with stress....
- It's Aspergers Syndrome! How do you share the news...
- Language Concepts
- Language Concepts
- Life and Love: Positive Strategies for Managing As...
- Positive behaviour management (using rewards and s...
- Promoting Independence in the Teen Years
- Puberty and Beyond for Aspergers
- Sharing information about your AS child.
- Sibling Issues
- Special Diets for Special Kids
- Suitable Careers/Jobs for Adults with Aspergers
- Supporting your child to make friends.
- Teaching Play Skills to Aspergers Kids
- Temper Tantrums and Meltdowns
- Temper Tantrums and Meltdowns
- The gift of Aspergers Syndrome.
- The Six Characteristics of Asperger's Syndrome
- Using visual thinking skills to support understand...
- What are the long term outcomes for people with As...
- Working with your child's school to develop inclus...
- Working with your child's school to develop inclus...
2008—
- "Job Interview Tips" for Teens with Aspergers
- 20 Parent Tips for a Tantrum-Free Haircut for a Ch...
- 7 Tips for Parenting Autistic Children
- Activities for Autistic Children
- All of a sudden he is acting out...
- An Interview with a Speech-Language Pathologist
- Applied Behavioral Analysis
- Asperger Syndrome
- Asperger: Research Projects
- Asperger’s “Melt Downs” – First Hand Experience
- Asperger’s child in the teenage years...
- Aspergers - Sexual behaviors
- Aspergers & Obsessions
- Aspergers & Split Personality
- Aspergers & Video Game Addiction
- Aspergers and Employment Prospects
- Aspergers and Sexuality
- Aspergers Checklist: Cognitive Issues
- Aspergers Checklist: Difficulty With Reciprocal So...
- Aspergers Checklist: Impairments in Language Skill...
- Aspergers Checklist: Motor Clumsiness
- Aspergers Checklist: Narrow Range of Interests and...
- Aspergers Checklist: Sensory Sensitivities
- Aspergers Child: Crisis Intervention Tips
- Aspergers Child: Diagnosis
- Aspergers Children & Picky Eating
- Aspergers Info
- Aspergers Kids & Board Games
- Aspergers Kids & Lack of Motivation
- Aspergers kids: Crisis Intervention Tips—
- Aspergers Meltdowns: How to Cope
- Aspergers Subtypes—
- Aspergers Summer Camps
- Aspergers Summer Camps
- Asperger's Support Groups and Organizations
- Asperger's Syndrome—
- Asperger's Syndrome: Comprehensive Overview
- Asperger's Syndrome: Comprehensive Summary
- Asperger's Syndrome: Quick Facts
- Aspergers: Causes
- Aspergers: Characteristics
- Aspergers: Classification
- Asperger's: Common Questions - Quick Answers
- Asperger's: Quick Facts
- Autism & Schedules
- Autism and ADHD
- Autism and Bullying
- Autism and genetics
- Autism and medication
- Autism Anxiety Overload
- Autism Anxiety Overload
- Autism cures
- Autism Diagnosis
- Autism Diagnosis: Where do we start?
- Autism support groups
- Autism/Asperger's Resources
- Autism: Comprehensive Overview
- Autism: Quick Facts
- Behavioral Strategies
- Being your child's advocate
- Building self-esteem
- Calming Techniques
- Calming Techniques that work with Autistic Childre...
- Characteristics of Aspergers—
- Child and Adolescent Issues
- Choosing the right school
- CLINICAL EFFECTS OF DEEP TOUCH PRESSURE ON AUTISTI...
- Communication Skills
- Coping with Autism and Puberty
- Coping with birthday parties and other celebration...
- Coping with Transitions
- Coping with Transitions
- Dealing with Self-Stimulation Behaviors
- Dealing with Self-Stimulation Behaviors
- Dear Family and Friends: A Holiday Letter
- Dentist Tips
- Developing Speech
- Developing your child's communication skills...
- Does my Aspergers child know what’s right and what...
- Famous autistic people
- Famous autistic people...
- Food obsessions
- Free stuff on the web
- Girls with Asperger’s and their friends and relati...
- Gluten & Casein Free Diets
- Grandparents of Aspergers Kids
- Health and Hygiene
- Health Care Needs
- Home schooling
- Hospitalization statistics for Aspergers [in Engla...
- How can we get him to change his eating habits?
- How do you help a teen with transition services......
- How to advise my son on social skills...
- How to cope with your child with Autism if they se...
- How to deal with my son’s frustrations...
- How to help your child with ASD to do better at sc...
- How to help your child with Aspergers survive the ...
- How would you start explaining sex...?
- Individual Educational Plan
- Individual Educational Plan for Autistic Children
- Intensive Interaction
- It’s Aspergers Syndrome! How do you share the news...
- Long-term side effects of Seroquel and Concerta......
- Making Learning Fun
- Management of Autism
- Music therapy
- Occupational Therapy
- Parental Relationship Help
- Picture Exchange Communication System
- Play therapy
- Providing sensory stimulation for your autistic ch...
- Puberty
- Re: Sibling of Aspergers Child
- Reward and Punishment
- Schedules
- Schools for Asperger's Children
- Sensory Motor Integration
- Sensory stimulation
- Sexual behaviors
- Shopping Trips with Your Autistic Child
- Showing love
- Sibling Relationships
- Sleep Problems
- Social Skills
- Social Stories
- Son Rise Program I recently attended a live 3 ho...
- Speech Therapy
- Supplimentation
- TEACCH
- Teaching Aspergers Children: Tips For Teachers
- Teaching The Aspergers Mind
- Technology and Aspergers Children
- Telling Others About My Aspergers Child
- Temper tantrums in public
- Temper tantrums in public...
- The Adolescent Years
- The Importance of Support for Parents with Autisti...
- The Importance of Support for Parents with Autisti...
- Tips for Teachers
- Toddlers and Autism
- Toddlers and Autism
- Toilet Training part one
- Toilet Training part two
- Toilet Training Your Child With Autism
- Top 100 Asperger's Websites - 2009
- We use creative ways to teach Science, Technology,...
- Weighted Blankets
- What are the long term outcomes for people with As...
- What is Asperger syndrome?
- What is socially unacceptable and why...
- Your Asperger Child: How to Change Thinking—
2009—
- 15 year old son recently started having more meltd...
- 23-year-old grandson has Aspergers...
- 25 Parenting Tips for Parenting Aspergers Kids
- Advocating for Your Aspergers Kid
- Antisocial Behavior in Aspergers Teens
- Any social gatherings for Aspergers teens?
- Any tips for stopping the melt downs?
- Anyone out there that has an Asperger son that is ...
- Are there any articles for fathers that can’t cope...
- Are there any connections between ADHD children an...
- Asperger Child Interviews Parents
- Asperger Kids & Tantrums
- Asperger Syndrome Behavior
- Asperger Syndrome: Comprehensive Overview
- Asperger’s & Depression
- Asperger’s and Impairment in Social Interaction
- Asperger’s Children: Fighting & Biting
- Asperger’s Kids in the Classroom: Tips for Teacher...
- Asperger’s Syndrome & Meltdowns: Guidelines for Pa...
- Asperger’s Syndrome and Sleeplessness
- Asperger’s Syndrome Therapies
- Aspergers & Aggression
- Aspergers & Attention Deficit Disorder
- Aspergers & Bereavement
- Aspergers & Curfew Violation
- Aspergers & Depression
- Aspergers & Game Addiction
- Aspergers & Heredity
- Aspergers & Impulse Control
- Aspergers & Peer Rejection
- Aspergers & Picky Eating
- Aspergers & Picky Eating
- Aspergers & Post High School Education
- Aspergers & Social Interaction
- Aspergers & Split Personality
- Aspergers Adolescents & Suicide
- Asperger's Adults & Marriage
- Aspergers and ADD
- Aspergers and Aggressive Behavior
- Aspergers and Anti-Social Behavior
- Aspergers and Associated Disorders
- Aspergers and Attentional Difficulties
- Aspergers and Bullying
- Aspergers and Computer Game Addiction
- Aspergers and Diet
- Aspergers and Friendship Problems
- Aspergers and Homework
- Aspergers and Impairment in Communication
- Aspergers and Mindblindness
- Aspergers and Mixed State Bipolar Disorder
- Aspergers and OCD
- Aspergers and Poor Concentration
- Aspergers and Sensory Difficulties
- Aspergers and Sexual Behavior
- Aspergers and Sibling Issues
- Aspergers and the Teenage Years
- Aspergers Behavior
- Aspergers Child Abuse: Physical, Emotional, and Se...
- Aspergers Children & Aggressive Behavior
- Aspergers Children & Anger Control
- Aspergers Children & Anger Control
- Aspergers Children & Mental Health Issues
- Aspergers Children & Middle School
- Aspergers Children & Social Anxiety
- Aspergers Children and "Low Frustration Tolerance"...
- Aspergers Children and Anger Control Problems
- Asperger's Children and Behavior Problems
- Aspergers Children and Discipline Problems
- Aspergers Children and Disruptive Behavior
- Aspergers Children and Excessive Crying
- Aspergers Children and Gym Class
- Aspergers Children and Poor Self-Esteem
- Aspergers Children and Problems in Social Interact...
- Aspergers Children and Self-Injury
- Aspergers Children and Sexual Fetishism
- Asperger's Children and Temper Tantrums [Meltdowns...
- Aspergers Children and Their Reaction to Pain
- Aspergers Children Bullied at School
- Aspergers Children in the Classroom
- Aspergers Children Who Are Addicted To The Compute...
- Aspergers Children with Anger Problems
- Aspergers Children with Oppositional Defiant Disor...
- Aspergers Children: Medication & Side Effects
- Aspergers Children: Tips for completing assignment...
- Aspergers in Females
- Aspergers in Grown-ups
- Aspergers Kids & Bullying
- Aspergers Kids & Exercise
- Aspergers Kids & Homework
- Aspergers Kids & School
- Aspergers Kids & Sensory Sensitivities
- Asperger's Kids & Sleep Problems
- Aspergers Kids & Social Skills: Home & School
- Aspergers Kids and School
- Aspergers Kids with Sleep Issues
- Asperger's Kids: Difficulty Labeling Emotions
- Aspergers Kids: Reasons for Their Behavior
- Aspergers Meal Plans: Gluten and Casein Free
- Aspergers Medication
- Aspergers Q & A: "My step-son has had numerous mel...
- Aspergers Research: Projects Seeking Participants
- Aspergers Screening
- Aspergers son being physically abused...
- Aspergers son has difficulty picking up on social ...
- Aspergers Students: A Guide for Teachers
- Aspergers Students: Dealing with Tantrums, Rage an...
- Aspergers Students: IEP and ARD Documents
- Aspergers Students: Navigating Through the Educati...
- Aspergers Students: Tip for Teachers
- Aspergers Students: Tips for Teachers
- Aspergers Subtypes: Rule Boy, Logic Boy, and Emoti...
- Asperger's Syndrome & Criminal Behavior
- Asperger's Syndrome and ADHD
- Aspergers Syndrome and Conduct Disorder
- Asperger's Syndrome and Mindblindness
- Aspergers Syndrome and Oppositional Defiant Disord...
- Aspergers Syndrome and Repetitive Patterns of Beha...
- Asperger's Syndrome and Siblings
- Asperger's Syndrome and Substance Abuse
- Asperger's Syndrome and Tantrums
- Asperger's Syndrome and Tics
- Asperger's Syndrome Through the Lifespan
- Aspergers Syndrome: Controlling Frustration (Low-F...
- Asperger's Syndrome: Different Pathways to Diagnos...
- Aspergers Syndrome: Frequently Asked Questions
- Asperger's Syndrome: Social and Emotional Difficul...
- Aspergers Teens & Angry Outbursts
- Aspergers Teens and Dating
- Aspergers Teens and Picky Eating: Questionnaire
- Aspergers Teens: Clueless Geeks?
- Aspergers Teens: Drug Abuse and Addiction
- Aspergers Therapies
- Aspergers, Sensory Integration Disorder, and Anxie...
- Aspergers: A Clinical Account
- Aspergers: Aggression, Anxiety, Depression, Hypera...
- Aspergers: Behavioral Interventions
- Aspergers: Coping with the pressures of middle sch...
- Asperger's: Daily Stresses and Others' Reactions
- Aspergers: Loneliness & Friendships
- Aspergers: Speech and Language
- Behavior Problems in Aspergers Teens
- Building Self-Esteem in Aspergers Children
- Bullying & Aspergers Kids
- Can Aspergers Teens Go To College?
- Classroom Challenges for Asperger Students
- Classroom Difficulties of Children with Asperger S...
- Classroom Strategies for Aspergers Students
- College student needs to interview someone with As...
- Coming to terms with an Asperger's diagnosis...
- Counseling Students with Asperger Syndrome
- Cure for Asperger’s Syndrome?
- Dealing with Aspergers Employees: What Employers N...
- Denying the Diagnosis of Aspergers—
- Diagnosing "Asperger's Syndrome" in Children
- Diagnosis of Asperger’s and Resultant Grief
- Diagnosis of Aspergers: What Parents Need To Know
- Diet and Nutrition for Adolescents with Aspergers—...
- Do I have Aspergers?
- Do you have tips for toilet training a young child...
- Documentary about Asperger's Syndrome
- Equine Therapy for Aspergers Children
- Examples of Schedules for Aspergers Children
- Girls with Aspergers
- He loses his temper frequently...
- Healthy Diet for Aspergers Children
- Helping Aspergers Children Control Their Anger [Av...
- Helping Aspergers Kids Deal with Anger and Rage: A...
- Helping Aspergers Students Deal with Anger: Advice...
- Helping siblings to cope with Aspergers...
- Helping Your Aspergers Child Get Ready to Return t...
- Hitting, Biting and Kicking: How to Stop Aggressiv...
- Home-Schooling Aspergers Children
- How can I bottle break my son without causing extr...
- How can I explain Asperger’s to my child and her s...
- How can I help my son to better manage his frustra...
- How do I balance out the needs of two children on ...
- How do I get my husband and in-laws to acknowledge...
- How do I help my 12 year old son to come to terms ...
- How do I help my son with Aspergers in his social ...
- How should I deal with my son’s emotional outburst...
- How to Deal with Your Asperger Child's Temper Tant...
- How to Discipline Aspergers Children
- How to explain abstract concepts of friendship and...
- How to teach a younger sibling not to pick up unwa...
- How will Asperger’s affect my other (non-Asperger’...
- I understand Aspergers is a form of autism, but ho...
- I'm worried about how my Aspergers child will cope...
- Individual Education Plan for Aspergers Children
- Is Abilify® Safe for Children with Autism?
- Is Early Intervention the Answer?
- Is it always necessary for an Aspergers child to g...
- Is There A Cure For Aspergers?
- Is there help for a child with Aspergers and Oppos...
- It is a constant struggle to get her to pay attent...
- Kyle’s Story: Parents Share Their Experience in Ra...
- L-Carosine: Nutritional Supplement for Aspergers K...
- List of Support Groups for Children with Autism, A...
- List of the Most Popular Books on Autism Spectrum ...
- Managing “Fixations” of Kids with Aspergers
- Meal Plan for Aspergers Adolescents
- Medications for Aspergers
- Medications for Asperger's Syndrome
- Meltdowns in Students with Aspergers
- Meltdowns in Students with Aspergers
- Misdiagnosing Aspergers
- Motivating Aspergers Students: Advice for Teachers...
- My son with Aspergers tends to be tactless...
- My teenaged son with Aspergers goes crazy when he ...
- Natural Treatment for Asperger’s Syndrome
- Natural Treatment for Asperger's Syndrome
- New Theories of Autism and Aspergers
- Non-Drug Treatments for Aspergers?
- Oppositional Defiant Behavior in Children and Teen...
- Parent Management Training [PMT] for Parents of As...
- Parent of Aspergers Child Shares Her Story
- Parenting Aspergers Children: How to Cope
- PARENTING AUTISM & ASPERGER’S NEWSLETTER
- Parenting Teenagers with Aspergers
- Parents of Asperger's Children: Grief and Guilt
- Preventing Intense Temper Tantrums in Aspergers Ch...
- Public Tantrums in Aspergers Children
- Q & A on Autism
- Quiz: Does your child have Aspergers?
- Raising an Aspergers Child: Tips for Home and Scho...
- References for MyAspergersChild.com
- Restricted and repetitive interests and behavior i...
- Ryan's Story: Mother Tells Her Story of Raising an...
- Should I actively try to teach him ways to sociali...
- Should I tell my child that he has Aspergers?
- Should my Aspergers child participate in sports?
- Should my Aspergers teenager get a job?
- Six-Step Plan for Teachers of Aspergers Students
- Sleep Disorders are Common in Kids with Aspergers
- Speech Therapy for Aspergers Children?
- Stephen's Story: Parents Share Their "Aspergers" E...
- Succeeding in College with Asperger Syndrome
- Support Groups for Aspergers Teens
- Symptoms and Treatments for Aspergers
- Tantrums & Meltdowns in the Classroom: Guidelines ...
- Teaching Children with Aspergers by Using Social S...
- Teaching Children with Aspergers Syndrome (AS)
- Teaching Kids with Aspergers: Tips for Educators
- Teaching Students with Asperger Syndrome: Guidelin...
- Temper Tantrums and Meltdowns in Children with Aut...
- Temper Tantrums in Children Diagnosed with Asperge...
- Temple Grandin - Focus on Autism and Asperger's Sy...
- Test Your Knowledge of Asperger’s Syndrome
- The connection between Semantic Pragmatic Disorder...
- The Difference Between Aspergers and Autism?
- The Gluten-Free, Casein-Free (GFCF) Diet for Autis...
- The Out-of-Control, Aspergers Child
- The Rage Cycle in Aspergers: Group Discussion
- The Six Characteristics of Aspergers
- The World of Aspergers: Advice to Teachers
- Thoughts of an adult with Aspergers
- Top 100 Websites for Teachers with Aspergers Stude...
- Top 90 Websites for Pervasive Developmental Disord...
- Top Websites for Treatment of Asperger Syndrome [a...
- Treating Children with Aspergers and Comorbid Bipo...
- Treatment for Asperger's Syndrome
- Treats/Gifts for Kids with Aspergers—
- Video Games for Kids with Aspergers—
- What are the common symptoms to look out for?
- What can I do to help my son with Aspergers functi...
- What does it mean to have Aspergers?
- What is a "meltdown" exactly?
- What is a Meltdown?
- What is Aspergers?
- What is the best way of effectively communicating ...
- What is the best way to teach social stories?
- What To Do When Your Child Has Been Diagnosed With...
- When do you tell a child he/she has Aspergers?
- Where can I find the right medication to help his ...
- Where can I find the right medication to help his ...
- Where can I get help in dealing with my own feelin...
- Why do Aspergers kids behave in an obsessive manne...
- Why does a child with Aspergers have a short atten...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
How to Prevent Meltdowns in Aspergers Children
Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and the Asperger’s child are totally exhausted. But...
Don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.
If your child suffers from Asperger’s Syndrome, expect him to experience both minor and major meltdowns over incidents that are part of daily life. He may have a major meltdown over a very small incident, or may experience a minor meltdown over something that is major. There is no way of telling how he is going to react about certain situations. However, there are many ways to help your child learn to control his emotions.
Click here for the full article...
Don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.
If your child suffers from Asperger’s Syndrome, expect him to experience both minor and major meltdowns over incidents that are part of daily life. He may have a major meltdown over a very small incident, or may experience a minor meltdown over something that is major. There is no way of telling how he is going to react about certain situations. However, there are many ways to help your child learn to control his emotions.
Click here for the full article...
Aspergers Children “Block-Out” Their Emotions
Parenting children with Aspergers can be a daunting task. In layman’s terms, Aspergers is a developmental disability that affects the way children develop and understand the world around them, and is directly linked to their senses and sensory processing. This means they often use certain behaviors to block out their emotions or response to pain.
Although they may vary slightly from person to person, children with Aspergers tend to have similar symptoms, the main ones being:
=> A need to know when everything is happening in order not to feel completely overwhelmed
=> A rigid insistence on routine (where any change can cause an emotional and physiological meltdown)
=> Difficulties with social functioning, particularly in the rough and tumble of a school environment
=> Obsessive interests, with a focus on one subject to the exclusion of all others
=> Sensory issues, where they are oversensitive to bright light, loud sounds and unpleasant smells
=> Social isolation and struggles to make friends due to a lack of empathy, and an inability to pick up on or understand social graces and cues (such as stopping talking and allowing others to speak)
Click here to read the full article…
Although they may vary slightly from person to person, children with Aspergers tend to have similar symptoms, the main ones being:
=> A need to know when everything is happening in order not to feel completely overwhelmed
=> A rigid insistence on routine (where any change can cause an emotional and physiological meltdown)
=> Difficulties with social functioning, particularly in the rough and tumble of a school environment
=> Obsessive interests, with a focus on one subject to the exclusion of all others
=> Sensory issues, where they are oversensitive to bright light, loud sounds and unpleasant smells
=> Social isolation and struggles to make friends due to a lack of empathy, and an inability to pick up on or understand social graces and cues (such as stopping talking and allowing others to speak)
Click here to read the full article…
Parenting Defiant Aspergers Teens
Although Aspergers is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager with Aspergers are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the Aspergers teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.
The standard disciplinary techniques that are recommended for “typical” teenagers do not take into account the many issues facing a child with a neurological disorder. Violent rages, self-injury, isolation-seeking tendencies and communication problems that arise due to auditory and sensory issues are just some of the behaviors that parents of teens with Aspergers will have to learn to control.
Parents need to come up with a consistent disciplinary plan ahead of time, and then present a united front and continually review their strategies for potential changes and improvements as the Aspergers teen develops and matures.
Click here to read the full article…
The standard disciplinary techniques that are recommended for “typical” teenagers do not take into account the many issues facing a child with a neurological disorder. Violent rages, self-injury, isolation-seeking tendencies and communication problems that arise due to auditory and sensory issues are just some of the behaviors that parents of teens with Aspergers will have to learn to control.
Parents need to come up with a consistent disciplinary plan ahead of time, and then present a united front and continually review their strategies for potential changes and improvements as the Aspergers teen develops and matures.
Click here to read the full article…
Older Teens and Young Adult Children With Aspergers Still Living At Home
Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent?
Parents of teens with Aspergers face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."
Parents face issues such as college preparation, vocational training, teaching independent living, and providing lifetime financial support for their child, if necessary. Meanwhile, their immature Aspergers teenager is often indifferent – and even hostile – to these concerns.
As you were raising your child, you imagined how he would be when he grew up. Maybe you envisioned him going to college, learning a skilled traded, getting a good job, or beginning his own family. But now that (once clear) vision may be dashed. You may be grieving the loss of the child you wish you had.
If you have an older teenager with Aspergers who has no clue where he is going in life, or if you have an “adult-child” with Aspergers still living at home (in his early 20s or beyond), here are the steps you will need to take in order to foster the development of self-reliance in this child.
Click here to read the full article…
Parents of teens with Aspergers face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."
Parents face issues such as college preparation, vocational training, teaching independent living, and providing lifetime financial support for their child, if necessary. Meanwhile, their immature Aspergers teenager is often indifferent – and even hostile – to these concerns.
As you were raising your child, you imagined how he would be when he grew up. Maybe you envisioned him going to college, learning a skilled traded, getting a good job, or beginning his own family. But now that (once clear) vision may be dashed. You may be grieving the loss of the child you wish you had.
If you have an older teenager with Aspergers who has no clue where he is going in life, or if you have an “adult-child” with Aspergers still living at home (in his early 20s or beyond), here are the steps you will need to take in order to foster the development of self-reliance in this child.
Click here to read the full article…
Popular Posts
-
Aspergers, considered to be a mild form of autism, consists of problems with socializing and communication with others. While the average ag...
-
80% of grown-ups with Aspergers do not have full-time jobs – not because they can’t do the work, but because they can’t manage to be sociall...
-
Narrow Range of Interests and Insistence on Set Routines: This refers to the child’s rigidity, obsessions, perseverations, and need for str...
-
Having the diagnosis of Aspergers syndrome can be devastating for the parents of children who wonder what will happen to their child as he o...
-
Question My eldest boy J___ who is now 5-years-old was diagnosed with Aspergers last July. We did 6 months of intense therapy with a chil...
-
Because there is no identifiable biochemical problem in Aspergers syndrome and because many researchers believe the syndrome is a result of ...
-
You're trying to find things for your child to do all summer that are safe, entertaining, and maybe, if you're lucky, have some educational ...
-
Unfortunately there’s no such thing as anger-management classes specifically for Aspergers children – and you may find that not a week goes ...
-
Anticipation for the Aspergers youngster is often a negative emotion that leads to overload resulting in a meltdown. Rather than having a ti...








