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Defiant, Oppositional Teens with Aspergers: Simple Parenting Techniques that Work Wonders

Parenting a defiant teenager with Aspergers or High Functioning Autism is tough (if you don’t how that is). Here are some quick tips to give parents some relief from the power struggles.

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4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Mark, my son is 8 years old, diagnosed as high functioning autism aspergers syndrome. At present we are dealing with really bad anxiety, to the point where he cries most days, normally at bed time. He has a really low self esteem and has when he is reprimanded for something he at times says he wants to kill himself. Its really worrying me because he is only 8 and I can only imagine its going to get worse as he does become a teenager.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mark,

This could not have come at a better time! My 14 year old Aspie son and my husband butt heads quite a bit and my husband is of the old school that you will mind me and you will respect me because I am your father! So I sat down and read out loud your newsletter. I think it made some sense to my husband, hopefully! Thank you! I think as soon as payday comes I will down load your book on Aspie Teens!

G.

Anonymous said...

I have a 17 year old grandson with Aspergers who seems to be in a very
bad situation right now. We are desperately trying to find some help
in this area. My daughter lives about 45 minutes west of Boston, MA.

Sean was diagnosed around the 3rd grade. He had all of the usual
symptons, i.e., he was a dinosaur, pokemon - any character that he
was into at the time. Always a very easy going boy, probably until he
hit high school & things started to change. We always felt he was on
the "lighter" end of Aspergers. He did play baseball in jr. high, and
has run track thru high school..

Things have changed and this past year has definitely been the worst.
He first started to sneak out of the house at night (usually because
of a girlfriend) and hang out all night. The lying and attitude
really started. Also got into a lot of smoking pot. It's been on
thing after another.

He now has a different girlfriend and started doing the same things.
Defiant, beligerant, just plain rude. He does not want to follow any
rules, thinks he should be able to do what he wants and come and go as
he pleases. Last week was just brutal.

As of Monday things calmed down a bit and after a phone call with his
mother he came back home. Also said to her," I love you Mom', which
I'm not sure if he's ever said on his own. They talked for several
hours & really felt that they were back on the right track.

Last nite, came home past curfew with a lip piercing and a totally new
attitude, again, that he could do whatever he wanted. They talked and
got nowhere and in the end he told her that he had no respect for her!

My daughter & her husband really feel they are in a desperate
situation. She called his councilor who has still not called them
back. Would you have any advice of what to do or supply us with some
people in this area that really specialize in Aspergers? They really
need some help,

Anonymous said...

This is better advice than was given when I was a teenager and Autism was so litlte understood. thanks for your guidelines.

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

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How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

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Parenting Defiant Teens on the Spectrum

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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to read the full article...

Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

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