Aspergers Children and Self-Injury

Question

I am wondering if there is a larger number of people with Aspergers who self-mutilate out of depression and other pressing emotions, more so than regular people. I want to know if there are members with Aspergers on this site that have ever engaged in this activity and what caused it. Depression or is it from the Aspergers?

Answer

Self-injury is often a coping mechanism, particularly with the feeling of being rejected. This is a particular problem for anyone who has difficulty in understanding non-verbal communication, for example, those with Aspergers, a form of autism, possibly affecting about 1 person in 200.

For most people, understanding facial expressions, body language, etc., is instinctive, starting as babies before language acquisition. But just as some people having hearing difficulties or are short-sighted or color-blind, others have difficulty with interpreting the non-verbal signs which most people use continuously and which are essential part of how small groups work: tiny cues tell us when to speak and when to stop, and whether people agree or disagree with us, or whether others find us amusing or dull, etc. These cues are not understood by Aspergers kids. Research is continuing into why this is: for example, some recent research has found that while most people use a special bit of the brain for looking at faces, those with autism use the same bit as for looking at inanimate objects.

This disability is not immediately obvious but it is a handicap. However, most Aspergers kids can learn how to cope. Indeed many teach themselves without realizing that they are not getting all the information available. But it gets more difficult in adolescence when fitting in with friends becomes more important. The give and take of a group requires a skill in picking up non-verbal messages that Aspergers kids just do not have, even though their understanding of what’s being discussed will be as good as anyone’s. As a result, Aspergers kids get isolated and often bullied.

By the time they reach adolescence, most Aspergers kids will realize they are fundamentally different to others at school but, unless diagnosed, will not understand why. Many autistic people are unaware of other people - but not Aspergers kids. Being rejected, repeatedly, by their contemporaries really hurts Aspergers kids. Not surprisingly, many become severely depressed – and may resort to self-injury. This leads me to suspect (but I have not found any research on this) that more than 1 in 200 of those who self-injure may be Aspergers kids.

Aspergers kids have most difficulty when things are new or strange. They find unpredictability really stressful. So they hate change and uncertainty. Rather Aspergers kids are creatures of habit: liking always to go the same way to school, always to sit in the same place, and preferring old clothes.

Aspergers kids are very rational people – they are wonderfully resistant to those who manipulate emotions. Talking about what’s making them depressed or why they self-injure is really stressful for an Aspergers youngster. An Aspergers youngster would find it more useful to have guidance on how to cope with irrational – i.e., ordinary – people. But most of all, Aspergers kids just want to be accepted as they are: people who, unlike most others, actually mean what they say.

My Aspergers Child: Preventing Meltdowns